12 things everyone should know before looking for relationship advice on Facebook.

A while back I stumbled upon this retarded group on Facebook called ‘43 things a girl wished her boyfriend knew’. (If you're feeling brave: http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=185874743398) The 43 points in question were so screwy and hilarious, that I thought I’d take the liberty to add my 2 pence to this whole sorry list. This may not win me much love from the ladies but what the hell! Here goes:

#1 When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away.

This is true. The pain is stored away and unleashed on you when you are vulnerable and completely unsuspecting. Hell hath no fury like a woman pissed off.

#2 When she stares at your mouth, kiss her.

But not if she was, in the first place, staring at that gross piece of spinach stuck between your teeth.

#3 When you see her at her worst, tell her she's beautiful.

On doing so, #4 will follow.

#4 When she looks at you with doubt, back yourself up with the truth.

Which will kind of defeat the purpose of ever having bothered with #3 and result in a swift and painful administering of #5.

#5 When she pushes or hits you, grab her tight & don't let her go.

Because really, mate, you kind of asked for it. Take the beating like a man.

#6 When she bumps into you, bump into her back and make her laugh.

If the ‘bumping’ in question is of a sexual nature, you need to seriously rethink aiming for her back. Because then, she will not just laugh, but jeer and ridicule you out of the bedroom.

#7 Call her at 12:00am on special occasions to tell her you love her.

But if you usually call her at 12:00 am to rant and rave drunken obscenities while you get shit-faced with your mates, maybe this is not such a hot idea.

#8 Kiss her in the pouring rain.

And risk getting pneumonia?? Sure, why not!

#9 When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

Makes you wonder whether she would even date you if YOU were boring or sad.

#10 When she says she's OK, don’t believe it, talk to her about it, because 10 yrs later she'll still remember it.

Just as she will remember, and remind you of what got her pissed off in the first place for 10 years after.

#11 Let her into your world.

If you are however, an incurable, closet deviant, don’t bother. No, really.

#12 Let her wear your clothes.

Just don’t ever get caught wearing hers.